Music is my life From American to German to Korean

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Here’s a list of things people think about me that piss me off to no end.

I lie

I’m wrong

I’m a waste of space

I can’t do anything right

I sit at home and do nothing watching YouTube and Netflix

I don’t do anything around the house

My opinions don’t matter

The words that come out of my mouth are silent

Nobody trust me because people spread false information about me


Man you know what sucks the most is that friends and family think this. They just don’t tell me. But it’s not hard to tell when you can hear whispers about you. Fuck you.

bullshit family friends waste of time nobody cares fuck you depression fed up tired alone sick

Mess

I don’t really know what I’m gonna write here, I don’t know if i’m gonna post it. I think I need to write this for myself more than anything…I think this is gonna be a mess of words and there isn’t going to be any structure. I’m first gonna start off by saying I, am a mess. An absolute mess that doesn’t have a vision as what to do with my life. I didn’t think I would struggle to write this but I am. Could be the headache I’ve had for 2 days, but that’s a different part of this, story? Not a story, an unstructured mess of my mind. Yeah, i’ll go with that. I’ve been having Mental and medical problems that are coming up. I guess it’s my fault in a way. I don’t think I could have prevented it, but I could have taken the steps to help eliminate the problems faster. For example, I didn’t  have any type of insurance, because my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t make a phone call to take care of myself. I’m more mad at me than anything. It wasn’t until I was in sever pain and just so uncomfortable when I deiced I had to do something for myself. I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe because I feel like a big change is about to happen. I just started my anti depressants, there new for me. Haven’t tried these ones. I got a call from my doctor i guess, her office? Anyways. They are worried about my blood pressure being so low when I went to the ER, and again at my appointment. Asked if I’ve been feeling dizzy and I say, “yeah at night, when I’m trying to sleep my world will start spinning.” asked if I drank enough of water, yes I do, I think. I drink like 4 or 5 16 oz water bottles a day. They want me to come in for an MRI, which I’m doing obviously that’s the smart thing to do. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I have a lot of appointments coming up these next few weeks. I think thats all for right now, I don’t know if I’m gonna write more. maybe, like a public diary? Hah funny. who knows. I sure don’t 

Depression anxiety mental heath hospital doctors er medicine headache
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